Kristen P. Davis
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seeking lightness

4/16/2015

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Blue skies and all the sunshine.... we walk on sand.
Next time, we will have bare feet.
We watch seagulls fighting over a bagel  
{once it gets wet, they all get a piece}
And we walk.
Beach downloads come and we find treasures.
We whisper about dreams and wishes and the release.
There is an understanding.
In the midst, I realize that I am starting to get my joy back
It feels like lightness.
{Weightlessness}
It's the feeling that comes after the laughter.
After you laugh so hard, you cannot breathe.
And you laugh so hard, you fear you might not ever stop.
{But you don't really ever want it to stop}
This is the feeling of love...of soul connection...of friendship.....of fun.  

There is a retelling of stories that I have told a thousand times before.
{For history and context and because we are deepening} 
Only truth is told.  Only the real.
If I have experienced it, you will hear it through my lens.  
I will no longer try to make the story easier for others to hear.
I do not need to protect you.
{Being heard}
The years of living from moment to moment...in chaos.
Putting out fires.
Tending to wounds.
Holding the injured and the pain. 
The years of grief that seemed to be endless.
{Being heard}
Remembering the space between the knowing and the unknowing.
And now the reprieve. 

I inhale.
And now it is clear, after these weeks.
I am lightening.  

{Now I remember how it feels}
In my gut, my heart, my soul.
{Lightening up}
Seeking adventure....travel.....joy.
Connection.....vastness.....fun.
I am seeking the feeling that comes after the laughter.

I am bringing the feeling that comes after the laughter.
I am that feeling.
The exhale.
The release.
The lightness.
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Return to Santa Fe

4/8/2015

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“One day a hummingbird flew in.
It fluttered against the window till I got it down where I could reach it with an open umbrella.
When I had it in my hand it was so small I couldn't believe I had it

but I could feel the intense life--so intense and so tiny.
You were like the hummingbird to me.
And I am rather inclined to feel that you and I know the best part of one 

another without spending much time together.
It is not that I fear the knowing.
It is that I am at this moment willing to let you be what you are to me.

It is beautiful and pure and very intensely alive.” 
― Georgia O'Keeffe

Picture
In 2006, I traveled to Santa Fe, New Mexico for a medical conference. This was a milestone trip, as it was my first time away from my kids (who were six and four years old) and Marc.  

I arrived in New Mexico and found space, solace, and sunshine.  
And at that time in my mom life, I didn't realize how much I needed it.

With this breathing room, I began to remember who I used to be, before I was a wife and mother.  I could feel her presence there with me in the desert.  





And with this space, I walked for miles, under blue skies and next to orange buildings.  Just walked.  And smiled.  And breathed. 
And when I left for home, I knew that one day I would visit again.  


Two weeks ago, I returned to Santa Fe.  
A longing that I have held since 2006, when I discovered this heart home of mine.
This is my sacred healing space.
Full of messages, guides, and magic.  
Beauty, decay, bones, spirit and blue skies every day.
And again I walked for miles.  Walking meditation with all the tears.  
I was full of joy and sadness and grief and anger.
I just let go.
And fully surrendered.  Something I rarely make space for in everyday life.
And in that open space, I received....
Guidance from the universe.
Healing love and laughter.
A bathtub full of rose petals.

Direction.
Lessons in breathing underwater. 
So many horses and hawks.

And Miracles.  
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