We drive to Boston for a sleepover before appointments. The drive takes an hour longer than usual. It's 88 degrees and humid. We have queso and chips and tacos and tequila. The girl has her first mocktail.
Nerf wars in the morning, but we are unarmed.
Long appointment with some answers. I am grateful with grief and relief and sadness. My heart has been a bit contracted.
Right now, less is more.
Living the questions.
The way this song keeps following me around.
Protect yo heart.
Our 20th Anniversary is spent in separate zip codes. Hoping to celebrate this weekend.
We meet up with one of her besties who happens to be in the city for the day.
Shopping and eating and drinking water and coffee. The air is oppressive today and makes it hard to breathe. Finding books and not finding homecoming dresses. Riding the T. Harry Potter store and Indian food. Shenanigans. Boomerang videos. Hugs.
First time in a Lyft. Second time in a Lyft.
Overnight in the hospital. I am reminded that the staff she is assigned to can make or break our experience. We luck out with an amazing communicator who is kind, compassionate and loves her work. Saying thank you for Lauren and her gentle soul.
Lungs + the air that we breathe. Watching the monitors overnight, even though someone else is also watching. Visiting the patient nourishment center for the ice that is so crunchy. The push for help button is the last thing that I see before I fall asleep.
Remembering that the best way to get rid of the hospital stink is to crank the tunes, roll down the windows and drive fast.
He gets home on Friday night. Re-entry is rocky.
It is five days till our 20th anniversary. We will not be spending it together this year. I'm wondering when and if we will find time to celebrate.
Something ate a mourning dove for breakfast. There are hundreds of feathers scattered in the yard. I read about the meaning of mourning dove animal spirits.
Farmers Market finds in 80 degree weather.
Putting the cat on the leash so he can experience the outdoors.
Wearing the necklace that is shaped like a shield that says Truth. I always think it says Trust until I put it on.
Apple picking, chilled apple cider & apple cider donuts. This is a yearly tradition since they were tiny.
Something keeps crushing my front gardens. I wonder if it's a bear or a deer. It is eating the milkweed too.
Making new November plans to work within the dates of the fall play.
Back to Boston next week for a new provider and an overnight. Planning some fun in between the have-to's. Actively ignoring my calendar reminder to schedule the MRI. Maybe next week.
Jewel of India for dinner. Trying new foods. Sibling disagreements. Strong opinions. Lots of laughter. Drinks made of mangos.
Finally releasing the words that need to come out. Doctors say things to me.
Senior pictures are rained out. Rescheduled for a sunnier day.
Rainy days and grey skies the past week. It seems like all the rain that we didn't get over the summer, showed up now.
I promised her a cheeseburger. We make the drive and go out to dinner on a school night. She gets a hot dog instead.
He is on the West Coast all week. I miss him and wish I could travel more.
Re-reading Walt Whitman - Leaves of Grass.
Finding so many feathers this week.
Conversations about consent.
Reheating the cajun fries with the boy and eating them late at night with ketchup and mayo.
Filling out the parent brag sheet for college recommendation letters.
Her text that reads "in spite of fear, anger, tears or yelling, you all have embodied Grace."
For the past 15 years, doctors have been saying things to me.