I start my best writing while driving in the car. It's often quiet these days and gives me space to do some exploration and processing I will show you my scars if you show me yours. This is a two way street for me. I will never get used to the way things can change so quickly. How a person can be gone, how a body can stop working all of the sudden, how time goes way too fast. I wish I wasn't so put off by change. All I did today was email doctors. This is not an exaggeration. Learning to have boundaries is exquisite and difficult and critical. I keep relearning the same lessons over and over again. When I get a text or a call or a message out of 'nowhere' I am reminded to pay attention Sometimes I don't want to listen to my body. Sometimes I do. I accidentally called the cashier at the local health food store love muffin. He looked surprised & confused, but not entirely disappointed. In my past lives I was a midwife or a librarian or perhaps both. Why do some gas stations play music when I am pumping gas? It is way too much for my brain.
Baby birds are leaving the nest in my backyard, at the house where I housesit. Yes I see you baby birds and mama bird. Yes I feel the parallels. I wanted to roll in fields of lavender for my 44th birthday. It didn't happen this year (maybe next year?) but I did get an epic surprise birthday party with a pinata. I don't understand Snapchat. I am chronically sending people things I don't mean to send them. It feels not intuitive. I really just have it for the face filters. Beyond that, my brain does not understand. I'm wondering today if surrender is the same as giving up? I'm wondering how long a person can continue to fight? I'm wondering how to fight and to rest more too? This is a long road. I'm feeling depleted. Summer in Maine is a visceral reminder of how the sweetest bits disappear so fast. We are attempting to hold on to this last month of summer. xxoo Kristen
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
|