Kristen P. Davis
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Doctors say things to me

9/20/2017

2 Comments

 

For the past 15 years, doctors have been saying things to me.
A partial and imperfect list
compiled from memory, writing and emails.

He said:  We think something is wrong.
He said:  She is almost perfect.  
He said:  This will be an easy surgery.  I will cut it off and that will be the end of it.
He said:  That was a complicated surgery.  And I do this all the time. 
He said:  We have seen something like this before.  We don’t know what to make of it.
They said:  Here are the current challenges.
He said:  This is a very tricky bug.
She said:  The head is a great spot for an IV in a baby this young.
 
They say:  I don’t know.  We don’t know.  I don’t know.
 
He said:  This is very important real estate.  
He said:  We will have to see if this issue forces our hand into surgery.
He said: Intramedullary & Mediastinal. 
He said:  Neural foramina. 
She said:  This is a non-validated result that we have to confirm independently.
She said:  Yes. Finally a match and a label.  
He said: The risks and benefits are....

He said: The challenges with research are limited understanding of the disease, little interest by the main medical body and research centers & little funding of these syndromes.
He said: Horses are better than zebras.
He said:  I would expect symptoms to be similar, if this were to happen again.  


Picture
He said: I would emphasize that much of this moves slowly - at the pace of months or years, not weeks or days.
He said: I just heard today that the clinical trial is open here.
​He said:  This won't hurt her a bit.  

He said: The MRI looks pretty unchanged to me.
He said: She's a complicated girl.
He said: The other risks and benefits are......

He said: I hope it helps - please let me know.
He said: I am glad she is stable and I hope she improves.
He said: I am sorry that this new finding is here – we will do our best to get a good plan in place.

They say: We don’t know. I don’t know. We don’t know.

He said: I will use the femoral artery.
He said: I will use part of the hip bone.
He said: You're not listening.
He said:  The window is closing.  
He said: I have the pictures of the surgery.
He said: I think we need to intubate.
He said: I want to make this right. Can I call you right now?


They say: We don’t have an answer to that question.

He said: I'm not sure what happened. It makes no sense.
He said: This was the right decision.
​He said: This will take time. Hopefully it will get better. It will be slow.
He said: In the lab, the mama mice eat the babies who have the disease. They know something is wrong.
They said: Tell us if the improvements stop.
He said: Hopefully this medication will help.
They said: I don't think there's anything else we can do.


He says:   I don’t know. 


He says: I am continuously humbled by the way that you remind me that you know way more about this than we do.
He says: I will never be smart enough, quick enough to answer the questions that you have asked and that you keep asking. I am sure of this.

And the doctors will keep saying the things. And life goes on, as it does.  And I will keep asking all the questions.



2 Comments
Wendy
9/20/2017 06:07:23 pm

My heart hurts more and I am so glad you got this out.

Reply
Bonnie
9/21/2017 08:49:59 pm

Oh Kristen, our heartstrings are twanging in sympathy over here.
It is so hard not to have good answers and to be wary of peering too far in the future. Xoxox Bonnie and Adri

Reply



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